Sis, Read That Again…

Let’s talk about tough love for a second. Getting out of a rut, whether it’s mental, emotional, or physical, sometimes requires that we face hard truths. Change doesn’t happen without effort. And honestly? Sometimes, we need to hear that if we’re not taking steps to change something, we’re essentially choosing to stay in the same place.

But before we go too far down the tough-love road, let’s balance this out: not everything requires force or hustle. Healing isn’t about beating yourself up to get results. In some parts of our lives, we need to give ourselves grace. Resting, forgiving ourselves, or simply allowing emotions to flow without judgment can be just as powerful as action. The trick is finding the balance—the sweet spot between feeling and healing.

Here’s where boundaries come in; not just with people, but with our own feelings. Feelings are valid, yes, but they can’t drive the car all the time. By setting boundaries with your feelings and taking daily intentional actions, you can create structure that helps you move forward.

This is where the concept of non-negotiables comes into play. Think of these as five small, but powerful promises you make to yourself every single day. They’re simple, doable, and create a foundation for both growth and healing. These aren’t about perfection—they’re about consistency. Here are my five non-negotiables that help boost my mood and keep me accountable to myself:

1. Drink Your Water

I know, hun. Cup 4 of a nice cozy coffee or a heart warming tea sounds AMAZING! Especially when we are feeling a little low and looking for comfort. However, it doesn’t benefit us to be 1. hyped up on caffeine, if you’re already emotional/anxious, OD-ing on caffeine is basically adding fuel to the fire. And 2. it actually dehydrates us, leading to brain fog, low energy and a struggling kidney. Hydration is one of the simplest acts of self-care. It boosts energy, improves focus, and even helps regulate your mood. Start small if you need to, but make it a daily commitment to drink enough water. A good target is 3liters, sounds scary, but it’s only like 2 and a half Stanley cups it’s fine lol.

2. Get Your Steps In

Movement is medicine. You don’t need to aim for 10,000 steps right away; even a short walk can work wonders for your mental clarity and physical health. Commit to moving your body every day, no matter how small the effort feels. You might do a week of aiming for 6,000 a day and then move up towards that 10 mark each week after? The easiest way to keep track of this is some kind of smart watch, I’m going to be a basic bitch and recommend an apple one… however the fitbit versa is also very good and is a little more budget friendly.

3. Write in a Gratitude Journal + Affirmations

Take a moment to reflect on the good. Write down three things you’re grateful for daily. Shifting your focus to gratitude can change how you see your life, even when it feels tough. If you’re feeling a bit stuck for a starting place, take a read over “Writing Yourself Well”

Using affirmations will start to train your brain to be more positive, this might be towards yourself, your financial situation, your current job or what ever else you feel like could use some re-shaping. You can write these down in your journal, you can write them on your mirror or say them out loud. But girl, you’ve got to start believe that you are worthy of everything you want. If that means giving yourself a pep talk every morning, just do it! My favorite affirmation at the moment is “Everything I want, Wants me more”. Check out “Say It Out Loud” My e-book on affirmations, how to use them and how you can personalize them for your current situation.

4. Don’t Skip Your Alarm

This one’s all about discipline. By getting up when you planned to, you’re already starting the day with a win. It honestly doesn’t matter if you’re getting up at 6am or 9am, but if you set an alarm the night before with good intentions, you honor yourself and get TF up! It’s a small way of showing up for yourself and building trust in your own commitment.

Pro Tip: Get another Alarm clock, I know we all use the ones on our phones. For me to say put your phone on the otherside of the room would be silly. But if you get another little alarm clock, place it somewhere you have to get out of bed to turn off. Once you’re up it makes it way easier to stay up!

5. Do Your Skincare

This might feel like a little thing, but it’s a moment of connection with yourself. If you’re like me and the down days mean you stay in the pj’s you wake up in, don’t brush your hair and bed rot for the entirety of the day and at no point does doing my skin care matter because I will be seeing no-one… remember It’s not just about looking good; it’s about taking the time to care for yourself and reminding yourself that you’re worth the effort. You will feel so much better for a little skin cleans, a Gua Sha session (I did a whole blog on this just because it’s actually magic “Gua Sha: 101), a cold towel and your fav moisturizer. That’s it. 10 minutes dedicated to looking after you, because you deserve that. And your poor skin does not deserve re-wearing yesterday’s make up… just saying.

Finding Your Balance

These five daily actions are just examples—your non-negotiables might look different depending on your needs and goals. The key is that they’re consistent and achievable, creating a sense of stability and progress.

If you have some time and feeling like you need some help rebuilding yourself, take a look over my Guided By Life E-book, “The Comeback Blueprint” It might just be the hand of a friend you need out of a lil rut.

Remember, healing isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey. Some days will feel easier than others, and that’s okay. The important part is showing up for yourself—with grace when you need it, and tough love when it’s time to push. What you’re not changing, you’re choosing. Let today be the day you choose to take that first step.